I thought I would take a short break from the Ex’s to provide you with the latest dating disaster. This one didn’t even get out of the gate. It consisted of about three hours of chatting online. I thought he was interesting and worth meeting, which I told him. He never did ask me out or to meet. He tiptoed around, asking if I wanted to meet. In subsequent chat sessions, he said how much he would like to meet, but never suggested a time or day. What is it with some men?

For any men out there, you will never get what you want unless you ask. Suggestions and hints don’t work. It is not up to women to suddenly respond to such interest with providing details of their schedules so that you may pick what works for you. At some point, all the suggestions and admonishments of how beautiful someone is just gets annoying. It doesn’t matter if you’re good looking, intelligent or have the “complete package.”

I suppose this guy was just another of a long line of pussies who needs to grow a pair and ask for what they want. Don’t be the guy in the photo.

The Border by Mr. Mister

I don’t have that in my life. I have never had that in my life. I cannot imagine meeting anyone with the courage and conviction I hear in the song. I don’t know anyone who would say “whatever happens, we can handle it together.” I don’t know if that says something about people today or if it is just the people I meet. I didn’t cry, but the thoughts the song brings up make me sad. It’s like I lost something along the way. I’m not even sure that I’m supposed to have it, but I feel the loss.

The next song that came up on my iPod was “End of the Innocence” by Don Henley from 1989. I smiled to myself as I listened to the words, which provide an explanation of the cynicism and loss.

End of the Innocence by Don Henley

I remember when… I also know about being poisoned by fairy tales. I am very familiar with the lawyers too. Now, if only I could release all of it, forget for awhile like he suggests in the song. While I might not trade experience for innocence, it might be nice to have moments when that experience is forgotten. I learned a term for this in literature classes, but I don’t remember it and cannot find it. I think I would like more than just fleeting moments. I can almost imagine the freedom that comes with meeting every person or experience without the past creeping in. Almost. I would like to have the experience of the thoughts of the past not appearing. Ah, to be fully present…in the present.

What I really love about both songs is the piano part. The piano notes are haunting behind both singers amazing vocals.

This was another man I dated who left a lasting impact. It has been so long that I can’t remember how we met. It was probably online. We did a lot of chatting on ICQ–the predominant chat service on the internet at the time. It was also quite popular in Europe. We talked over the phone a few time, but then moved on to talking over the internet using a program that predates Skype but did the same thing. It was very unreliable.

I arranged to travel to the Netherlands over Christmas while I was in graduate school. I spent two weeks there. My jet lag was terrible, so he gave me a book. It was Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. This was also around the time when BBC/A&E came out with their program. The paperback was rather well-used and had his name in it. Obviously, he had to read it for some class. He talked up the story enough that I felt I should read it.

I had never read any of Austen’s books. I think he was appalled. I wasn’t that fond of the book in the beginning, but I needed something to do besides lie in bed awake. I finished the book once I got home. I still have the book, and it looks even more used. I have read Pride and Prejudice every year around Christmas since then. I love the story. The BBC/A&E production is the best.

The Dutch are rather interesting. They speak at least four languages fluently. I have no idea how they do it. I confuse Spanish and French. I hunt for the French word and come up with Spanish instead. They also swear in English in the middle of speaking Dutch. I loved how they had a “live and let live” attitude. For about a week, I lost my preoccupation with my looks. The Dutch just don’t worry about appearances like Americans.

I also came back with a Dutch accent, which lasted a month. My friends made fun of me for it. It wouldn’t have mattered where I went though. I pick up accents easily.

I also got a love of Gouda cheese. No one does Gouda like you get in the Netherlands.

Image by Photo8

Since I apparently have at least one reader, I will comply and write. The next guy with some positive impact was an avid cyclist. He even shaved the hair off his arms and legs. He said it made him faster. I don’t know if that’s true, but I can see where it would make a difference in being able to get the spandex easily on and off.

I got interested in mountain biking and bought a bike because he made it sound so interesting. It was fun for awhile, but I realized that I prefer speed to mountain biking. For a few years, I biked along trails. I have since stopped biking complete–although I still have the bike.

I am someone who loves to try new things, but often I leave the last one behind when something new comes along.

The one thing that I have from my ex-husband is my son. While the past 18 years of my son’s life have been riddled with crazy-making emails, phone calls, and even attorney letters, my son is well-balanced and kind. My son was coming with or without getting married. I often wish I hadn’t. It certainly would have been a different life for me and my son.

The other thing I got form my ex-husband was that I wasn’t going to be treated so poorly again. I knew what controlling looked like, and I avoided it.

Very few people know that the first guy I fell in love with was a French exchange student. He was on some special program where he came for the summer. I didn’t like him much at first.  He was younger than me, although we were in essentially the same grade. French schools are different. My mother told me that he was my type–which, of course, I made it obvious that he wasn’t my type at all. And then…I spent many weeks that summer high on Laurent.

I’m sure you remember what was like when you first fell in love. This wasn’t an ordinary crush. Most of the guys I was interested in during high school either were too oblivious or willfully pretended to not be interested. I haven’t recreated that feeling since. Perhaps that feeling only happens once–with the first one you fall in love with. After all, by the next one, you already know what to expect.

I don’t even remember what it was that I fell in love with. But Laurent left me with a love of French accents and wishing I knew French. That may be why I have spent many years learning French for a few months and then abandoning the endeavor when something easier and more interesting came along. I love French food, but that wasn’t from him. There weren’t any French restaurants in the smallish town where I went to high school.

Laurent wasn’t from rural France, so I have no idea how I managed to survive the months he spent with the weird family in a town of 50,000 people. There were no cultural activities. Kids our age drove the strip and went to movies.

When he left, we agreed to write, but my letters went unanswered. And wouldn’t you know, his last name is fairly common. There are several French men with the same name. I have photos of him and me somewhere, but since I agreed to keep these stories somewhat anonymous, I am keeping those photos to myself.

I still haven’t visited France and want to badly. I doubt I would find him there, but I know I could find another French man whose accent would make me swoon.

J’taime.

I will be using first names only. My guess is that I have about five readers and a few people who find themselves here by doing some specific search. It’s unlikely that any of them read my blog. Although if any men who know me come by and feel left out, feel free to post a comment or send an email. I will give some background if I think it is necessary, but not so much detail that anyone would recognize them.

This is my thank you to those men.

1. First email asked about my pay rate
2. Next email was dismissive because my current pay rate was higher than the maximum for this position
3. I wanted more information about the position even though it paid less. You never know… I still hadn’t spoken to the person, and the job description and title didn’t seem to match.
4. I received another email asking for lots of things like my birth date (day/month), references, current city, etc.
5. The recruiter asked for a good time to call, which I gave him, but when the time came he couldn’t make that time even though he said he could.
6. Next email asks when I’m available between 7 am and 2 pm. I had said before I was available after 4 pm. (I prefer to deal with calls after work.)
7. So he calls the next day and leaves a message. I call back. I get this guy with a heavy Indian accent who speaks so fast that I have to keep asking him to repeat himself.
8. I told him I wasn’t comfortable giving all the information he asked for.
9. He informs me that the only way to be submitted is if I give my birth date (this is exactly what I don’t want to give). He asks me repeatedly if I am going to send him the information. I agree and say it will be the next morning (because he’s in New Jersey, and I won’t take care of it until after work).
10. I ask about the job description, but he just keeps repeating the title even though there is no mention of writing anywhere in the description.

Now, I didn’t send my information, and I have not received any further emails or calls. That’s 10 odd things about this whole encounter–far more than I allow when dating. I give up after about three weird things when it comes to guys.

You intrigue me - can we get to know each other? Going to cheetah to work with cheetah’s would be an adventure. There was a game preserve close to were I live that would bred these cheetah’s with bizzare coats. So what makes you purrr…lol?

Now, let’s rate:

decent start, but then the weirdness sets in

grammar +10 for near incoherence, where did he learn to write? maybe he speaks this way as well?

creep factor +8 for cheesy cat reference

total: +18

There’s nothing worse than having to read these things more than once just to figure out what the person really means. It might have been okay, if he didn’t add “what makes you purrr.” Note the 3 r’s. Obviously money doesn’t help you spell or remove creepiness.

Please…just shoot me. This one isn’t the worst of them. They are even weirder once I speak to them.