Well I survived the trek to San Francisco three days straight for my weekend leadership training seminar. I decided to drive each day so I could sleep in my own bed and save some money. My hybrid only used slightly over half a tank of gas. I’m not sure what to tell you about the weekend. I sat next to an interesting guy from Los Angeles for part of the seminar. Sitting next to him helped lighten up my mood. It can be easy to get a bit too serious. Frankly, not long after sitting near him and his flirting, I wanted to jump him. I was good though and didn’t. Today I’m left wondering if I missed an opportunity there.

My cats are happy that I’m home. The two youngest, Max and Zach, turned two on Sunday. They had treats on Friday. Their pictures have been posted previously.

I did notice that when I was talking to a friend this morning that I already sound different. It’s amazing that I noticed. Typically everyone else notices before I do.

I have been so lax about posting lately. I know I didn’t post for several days.  I spent 8 hours on Saturday in the leadership program I signed up for. I can’t go into much detail here because I don’t want to overstep what they want said about their program. I don’t want to have to get approval before I write. However, I think I can safely express my experience.

Saturday was good because I got to see some of the people in the program. I knew a few who were in it, but it was interesting to see who else was there. It was mostly administrative stuff the whole day. Kind of a “welcome to the next 6 1/2 months of your life” thing. Again I wondered what I had gotten myself into. But as I have spent more time volunteering (they refer to it as assisting, which it is…but everyone in the world understands volunteering), I actually like it. I would rather be there than just about anywhere else.

I had the experience of being rather popular lately. I have been asked to help with all kinds of things. I have been asked to coffee, asked to share a hotel room on the weekends the leadership program meets in San Francisco. Always being asked to do something. I have been asked to help on other committees too.

I am rather surprised by all this. Everyone I have talked to thinks I’m crazy to be surprised. I realize why. I actually internalized someone else’s opinion of me and made it my own. I allowed this person to disrespect me, and in the process, I didn’t respect myself. I can hardly believe that after all these years I allowed that to happen again. It is a pattern I thought I broke a long time ago.

On other news, I’m still looking for something to pay the bills. The startup hasn’t quite come through yet. Soon, I think, but not soon enough.

The leadership program I signed up for is nearly beginning. I have a fairly full schedule this week with volunteering (not the word they use, but truly what it is). Every day I wonder what I signed up for and wonder if I will finish. Lots don’t.

I got into gear today and nearly completed my project from the last course. It took looking at my calendar and seeing how full it is getting to realize that I absolutely had to finish soon. I have a few minor things to take care of now and then, but nothing very urgent.

The latest seminar I signed up for has us get into small groups. Guess who is a leader again? Of course. I swear they were all looking at me as their leader before any introductions were made. Can they follow a simple request to respond to an email? No. Here we go again. But we all leave near each other, so I’m sure we can meet many times. That’s the plan, but they don’t realize it yet. I know I should be honored to be the leader. Being the leader isn’t so bad, except that I get annoyed and upset when the group doesn’t take the course seriously. Nothing like people doing things half-a**ed to irritate me. Me? I’m all or nothing. There is no in between.

Yesterday in a call to get some information quickly, I found myself nearly undoing an offer for help. It’s amazing what can be done when you ask…and even when you don’t ask. I received the new materials I need for the pojrect I’m working on this morning. It was overnighted from New York. Now, I need to read through a few sections to get what I need out of it to create plans for teen programs. I want to get some plans complete before the educator is gone for a week or so. I made a phone call last night to one of the Hebrew school teachers about getting into contact with a therapist about one topic.

I really need to stop myself from undoing completely unreasonable offers.

It looks like a busy day today with several meetings and then picking up my son from the airport. He has a lot of work to do this summer. He has lessons and a make up course. There’s the usual stuff around the house as well. I need him to be responsible. So that is what is on my mind now. I have my project to work on, and I’m getting tired of it. My seminar is nearly over. Only two more meetings after tonight. Yeah! I’m not sure if it is good or bad that I want the program to be over. I certainly have enough to take care of this summer. I don’t get much of a break before my next seminar starts in mid-August and the leadership training program starts in late August.

Today was a semi-mad dash to find out how my son can complete a class he failed while out here. So far, no luck. There is no equivalent offered in summer school out here. I never did speak to his school. They are supposed to be open, but all I got was a recording. It’s looking like he will have to make it up during the school year. When I spoke to his dad, I found out about other assignments he nearly didn’t finish before the end of school, which would have delayed his graduation. The boy is really trying hard to do poorly. Yet, he scores extremely high on the state competency tests. Go figure. So now I’m set to find out the issue. Maybe he needs a new school. Maybe he needs home school. I talked to a friend about it just to get some ideas. My experience of school was very different from my son’s. I hated it. Boring. But I played along and played the grade game. I had to and knew I had to so I could go to college.

Then it was off to a meeting where I had to present my project. Again. I’m a bit frustrated that I can’t find anyone interested in working on part of the project. I’m sure it will be easy. It will take a few weeks, but once it’s done–it’s done. You can’t often say that about volunteer projects.

I must be losing my writing muscle because lately I haven’t been able to think of much to write about. Nothing new here. Well, nothing I’d post on this blog. Life is going along.

Frustration over my project is just beginning. Funny how people don’t remember what is said in meetings. I took detailed notes, so I do know.

I’m looking forward to my son’s summer vacation. I can’t wait for him to get here.

I get asked that a lot. Lately I haven’t known what to say. I know there is a lot that is new, but how interesting do others find it? I’m still working on my project, although it has been a slow week coming up to the holiday. I had a seminar end this week, and the other didn’t meet. So I’m off to live in my now quiet head.

I have my costume for Tahitian competition. Well, all but the flower. I have to decide on a flower, and it has to be real. So that means it has to last all day (from 7 am to about 6 pm).

Last weekend I was busy meeting up with friends–even after a long day at the garage sale. It seems that most people are out of town this weekend or have other plans, but perhaps something will come up spur of the moment. A friend is supposed to have a party either Friday or Saturday, but I haven’t heard anything further.

Oh, I finally got a Nintendo Wii, which is supposed to be for my son. I have been playing. It’s a lot of fun. I ended up with a sore arm from playing tennis.

Work? Well, it’s still the same, although it seems that some new interest could provide more immediate funding. Just have to see.

The cats are pretty much the same. So is the dog. I have one cat with an immune disorder, and he’s not looking so good right now. Not much I can do about it other than keep him comfortable. It’s kind of icky to watch him waste away.

Well my biggest concern today is getting everything ready for the program tomorrow night. I’ve been busy this morning emailing and printing out the necessities for the program. Tomorrow I will get to the grocery store to buy cookies and napkins. Fun. I am hoping for a good turnout. I want to see 30 parents there. We have far more than that who could come. This is the first event for my project, and the first project and event that I have been in charge.

I have mentioned my project here before, but I have been rather vague about what I’m doing. The project is beginning to develop a life of its own. I am bringing a program to my synagogue, Shir Hadash in Los Gatos, CA for teens and parents. We have had some teens who have been dealing with stress in their lives through self-mutilation, eating disorders and drugs. While in the past there might have been one or two teens with issues like these, we know have many more to where a program to address these issues is needed. I was astonished find out about these issues going on with our teens. I had not heard anyone talking about this before. I was inspired to take action where there was none. I have worked with teens before and really enjoyed it. My son is at the age where these issues are prominent as well. Talking with a teen can be difficult when as a parent you remember how much they talked to you when they were younger.

With help from URJ (Union for Reform Judaism) Family Division, we are able to bring a curriculum to the Hebrew High students. Training for teachers and staff will be made available to identify issues early and to improve communication. Often these behaviors are hidden and there is a lot of shame that surrounds them. Through this program we will encourage open discussions among teens and parents. We want to provide a support system for teens and their parents so they feel less alone when dealing with these often overwhelming issues. The program will also make the teens skilled in handling stress in ways that don’t hurt.

Our first program is a discussion for parents led by Annie Fox. On her website, she takes questions from teens all over the world as “Ask Terra.” Fox has a masters in education and his written two books:  “The Teen Survival Guide to Dating and Relating” and “Too Stressed to Think?”. Her program will present techniques for dealing with stress and for listening. The program is the evening of May 8.