So on Kelly’s advice, I took this quiz. Click on “extras” and then click on the quiz box. Or click on the link below.

I guess I’m not surprised by the results. Anyone interested in a depraved, perverted female for a romantic, long-term relationship?

I feel a bit like this sea lion. Although, thank goodness I smell better. As I went through the news this morning, I found this gem. A mother had her son arrested for opening a Christmas present too early. Frankly, I wanted to see where this took place. I’m pleased to say that it’s not California. Nope, this one is in Columbia, South Carolina.

After watching a program about the Internet on the weekend, I felt a bit like all bad things happen in California. Every example they had of the “horrors” of the Internet took place somewhere in California—primarily around Los Angeles. While I have to agree with my friend that the reason is most like because it is cheaper to find a local example and avoid the cost of travel, it makes it seem like all the seedy things that can happen on the Internet take place here. I never much like these shows anyway because all they do is scare people. This stuff is quite rare actually…the predators, the gaming addicts, etc. I saw a statistic just a week ago that showed that porn sites make up only 1% of the Internet. Yes, it is a huge business, but only a small part of the Internet.

So my adopted state gets a bad rap for…well…just about everything. Poor California. No wonder the rest of the country feels they can ignore us or write us off as crazy. Hollywood–you’re not helping either.

Technorati: California

I was thinking about a conversation I had over the weekend about the sexism I experienced in college as an engineering student. As I was reading Salon today, I was reminded that little has really changed. I generally don’t even think about it. It’s too easy to get caught up in the sexist stuff you see and hear and not get your job done.

As an undergrad, I had sexist professors and teaching assistants. It was obvious that they didn’t want you in their class. This was in the late 80s in engineering. It was common to be the only female in a class, especially if it wasn’t a large class. I even experienced that working over 10 years later. It wasn’t uncommon for me to be the only female in the room at a meeting. However, my work experience was much less sexist than my undergraduate experience.

Graduate school was very different, which I attributed to when I went. In this case, some of the students were sexist and rude, but not the professors. I did receive advice from one of my past chemistry professors about which schools aren’t worth going to. She didn’t think it was necessary to go to graduate school where you had to fight sexism—graduate school is hard enough. I’m glad I took her advice. I couldn’t have asked for a better graduate advisor. He had a unique experience himself. He had been a carpenter for a few years before going to college. He went to college while being married and then went on to graduate school and became a professor. Not the traditional path one usually takes.

Back to the sexism in society…I still wonder when it will be gone. The Salon piece dealt with whether the country is more ready for a woman president or a black president. A columnist in the Washington Post makes the argument that Americans hold nostalgia for traditional gender roles and is more likely to elect a black male president.

We’ve come so far, and yet have so far to go when it comes to both racism and sexism. To know this, all one needs to do is ask a woman or minority. The blacks I’ve met will tell you that they still experience racism. I think most women will say the same about sexism—if they are telling the truth and not trying to deny that it occurs. I see a lot of denial.

Technorati: sexism, racism

It’s everyone’s favorite subject. I was discussing my pet theory on sexual identity with a friend last night, and I thought others might find it interesting. I don’t know that it’s original, but I’ve never read it elsewhere.

My theory is that sexual identity is a continuum—a bit like a line with hetero on one end and homo on the other. Everyone fits somewhere on the line, but they are not stationary. I don’t believe that anyone is 100% straight or gay. Any curiosity, fleeting thoughts or dreams puts you away from that 100% even if you never act on any of it.

This little theory makes it difficult to definitively label someone’s preference. I know how much everyone likes their labels. I don’t care much for labels, and I don’t think I’m alone.

I had my theory in mind also because I watched a couple of programs on the LOGO channel (nothing else on and they have good programming) about gay rights and sexual identity. They present both sides. One program was about sex education in our schools and how the textbooks get chosen. I am so surprised by the strong emotional response by those who are against the gays having any rights or teaching sex education. They appear so threatened and fearful. I’m sure that they wouldn’t like my continuum. Although they may think that it means people can change their identity. While I believe that sexual identity is somewhat fluid, one doesn’t flip from one preference to the other. A person only moves a little along the continuum depending on the circumstances.

I am writing this early in the morning, and I just realized how timely this topic is with the current political scandals. I want to know why those who are most vocal against gay rights and sex education are involved in these scandals? How is it that one can be gay and a Republican when their agenda has been anti-gay rights for many years? Is it possible to hate yourself that much?

Technorati: sex, gay, straight

I know why my mother married my dad. The relationship was very rocky and they divorced permanently when I was 15. There were lots of almost-divorces. I had one of those conversations with my mother. She told me something I will NEVER get out of my head. Information I shouldn’t know.

I suppose you wonder how this conversation started. I was talking about my son and puberty. See, he’s a late-bloomer. He’s got some hair, but not on his chest, armpits or face. His voice is changing dramatically. I know he has some hair because I accidentally caught a glimpse of it. I had no idea he was even beginning puberty yet.

I’ve always hoped that he would be better endowed than his own father. It appears that he may be. When I mentioned this to my mother, she tells me that he must take after my father’s side of the family Yes, it seems my father had a big one.

A long time ago I saw a picture of him when my mother and he first met. He was a handsome guy. I thought that might be the reason they married. Home had always been unstable. I guess my dad was the unstable one. So, I never really knew why they married, and I never thought to ask. I suppose I thought my mother wouldn’t want to talk about it.

So perhaps I have an odd wish for my son—to be “endowed” as to not be embarrassed. I’ve known too many guys who have size issues. Issues that are generally unfounded.

Now I’m left with information about my dad that I didn’t really want to know. Funny.

Here we are again talking about R. You’ve got to hear the latest.

I suggested we meet for coffee on Saturday afternoon. The response I got back was “how about Sunday night?” No, not a reasonable excuse like “I will be tired” or “I need to rest.” My suggestion wasn’t unreasonable either. He’s supposed to arrive at 1 pm, so I suggested meeting at 3 pm. Two hours should be enough time to get to the hotel and checked in—even if the plane is late and you have to pick up luggage. It’s only 15 minutes from the airport to downtown San Francisco.

I mentioned this to a friend, who wasn’t surprised. When I asked why, he said that it’s easier to get naked at night.

Now, I ask you—particularly the guys out there—is it easier to get a girl into bed at night? Does the time of day really matter? If you think you are only capable of getting a girl into bed at night, what does that say about your seducing techniques?

Time of day doesn’t matter to me if it is something All these questions remind me of another friend’s opinion that the women decide whether or not any sex will occur and that if she has decided that it won’t, there is nothing you can do to change that. There are women who resort to tricks to keep themselves from jumping into bed with their date, like not shaving their legs, wearing ugly underwear or super tight and overly difficult to remove clothing. I can’t say that I’ve tried any of that. I guess will power is enough for me.

Anyway, I would say R’s response says a lot about what he has in mind. There’s still no mention of being married. I will bet that he wouldn’t mention it all. I may not find out if he’s going to insist on meeting at night because I’m not going to do it.

I want to avoid the scenario he’s trying to create. I also have a hula workshop on Sunday, which lasts most of the day, so I need a good night’s sleep—in my own bed. R forgets that he was such a weasel more than 5 years ago. He’s a schmuck to think that I would want anything to do with him.

What I wish is that people would be upfront about what they want. Why isn’t that possible? The worst are those who lie—and you know they are lying, but they will argue until you give up in exasperation just to avoid being caught lying. I have an amazing BS detector, and little tolerance for dishonesty.

Technorati: hula, San Francisco, schmuck

A conversation with a friend got me thinking about society’s expectations when it comes to sex. Is monogamy truly the norm for humans? What would society be like if monogamy was considered abnormal?

I’m a firm believer in question everything. While asking these questions, I realized that Aldous Huxley asked the same questions in “Brave New World.” That society considered pairing off to be abnormal.

Most of society’s expectations when it comes to sex are insane. Think about the recent craziness, like the debates over a naked breast on a mother’s magazine or whether or not teens should be allowed Plan B and the constant bombardment by sexualized advertising.

I realize that the “sex police” have a long history of keeping society in check. Basically, if you control women’s sexuality, you also control men. It’s terribly frustrating for anyone whose ideas or appetites don’t fit into a little box.

I like to imagine a society somewhere between Huxley’s and our own. Both are about control. I would like to see less control and more acceptance. I will keep dreaming.

Technorati: sex, Huxley, contraceptives, sex, society, monogamy