That would be my mind that is bugged. Not busy enough, so my mind buzzes with analyzing conversations, life, etc. It has gotten too noisy in here again. The seminar I have been complaining about is nearly over. It was boring at first. I was beyond it. Now the seminar finally caught up to where I’m at, and I think I’m going to miss it.

For the first time I can remember, I didn’t react when someone yelled at me. Nothing. Silence. No waiting for my say. In fact, I wasn’t thinking of anything to say in reply. It wasn’t about me. The problem, as this person saw it, was that I didn’t understand. Perhaps not. Perhaps it helps to be clear in your speaking?

Ever noticed how easy misunderstandings arise? I keep seeing this. I say something I think is clear, but then I get questioned as if my interpretation is somehow wrong. I just have to shake my head. Move on. And remember that it doesn’t mean anything. But how easy it is for these misunderstandings to completely blow up. I’m often left bewildered and confused. When you stand back and look at this, it’s like two five-year-old kids going at it. “Yes.” “No.” “You suck.” “I’m not playing anymore.” Pouting. Seething.

Whose rules do you play by? Yours? Others? How do you figure out others’ rules without asking directly? Doesn’t everyone play according to their own rules?

I began thinking about this a week ago when someone told me that I play my games by my rules (considered good) and I play others’ games by my rules (considered bad). I do know enough about myself to know that if I don’t like the rules, I don’t play.
The intensive thinking came about from a discussion last night about the games we play in life. Everything can be reduced to a game. My biggest concern is how to keep a game going for a long time. Games start out pretty good. Things go well. Everyone is happy. Then stuff happens–could be anything. Arguments. Petty personality issues (often happens at work). Then the game isn’t as much fun so then it dies a slow death. I’ve seen this in just about every area of my life. Doing something new is great for awhile. Then I become disillusioned. Sometimes I quit after that. If I don’t leave, I’ve left anyway because I’m not really there.

It was an interesting night. It’s not like I woke up really thinking about anything. I just woke up. then I couldn’t get back to sleep right away. I didn’t even have any creative thoughts.

I have been making amazing progress with my project. I’m currently working on getting a speaker for an evening. This wasn’t on my list of things to do. This came from someone else. It will happen in about 3 weeks. Not a long time for planning.

I haven’t turned on the TV news. I know the only thing that will be on is the tragedy at Virginia Tech. They will rehash it, run extra stories talking to students, more stories about what universities can do. Unviersities are open places. There’s very little that can be done without building a wall around them and monitoring everyone who comes and goes. I suppose some are contemplating just that scenario.

Any other Mac users out there disappointed with the news on Leopard? They have made it look really cool, and now it’s not coming out until October–all to make way for the iPhone. Now the the iPhone is cool too, but it wasn’t something I was going to buy. I wanted a new OS though. I like the multiple windows. I know Apple thought the iPhone should get all the resources…but you silly people just across town in Cupertino, there are a lot of us Mac users who were waiting for Leopard.

Anyone have a rejection letter? It’s a writing exercise. I don’t keep any around. They are generally too generic and too stupid to keep.

My out-of-office email… if I had an office to be out of.

“I am out of the office. I will not be reading email. You may continue to send email while I’m out. I plan to enjoy every minute of my vacation and that means no email will be read until I get back. I may or may not respond when I get back. In fact, after seeing that my email box contains 1000 emails, I will delete them all without reading a single one. You will know that I have returned to the office, when you receive a reply.”

Do you think I could get away with that message? At least it’s honest. I really hate the standard out-of-office automated replies.

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Anyone else out there sick and tired of all the articles about women or directed towards women with the same message “you just don’t add up”? Not a day has gone by in the last month that I haven’t read an article or commentary about how women should be.  Oh, and let’s add the other ubiquitous message “it’s all your fault.”

So where aren’t women adding up to expectations? Work, family, bed, as wives/girlfriends, appearance, etc.  And men wonder why women are angry. If you internalize these expectations (and even if you don’t they still get to you), you are going to be angry because no one can keep up. The expectations change too. So we have these rules that women should follow to be good, hot, pleasant women (pick your adjective) and then the rules change constantly. It’s no longer enough to enjoy sex,  now women have to perform like porn stars and that includes looking like one too (boobs, hairlessness). Or there are the parenting articles that get women constantly concerned that they are failing their children. As if these articles are necessary. I don’t see these articles directed to men. Then the gender gap in the workplace is blamed on women.

It seems to me that it has gotten worse in recent years. I always remember there being expectations, but I can’t remember a time when they seemed so contradictory and constantly changing.  So with the constantly changing expectations of society and the constant blame when you don’t measure up, what is a woman to do? Can I just opt out of the game?

Awhile back, I had an issue with Google Adsense. Lots of bloggers have had this trouble because Google seems to think that sites like BlogExplosion, BlogMad and Blogsoldiers are in violation of their policies even though I’ve seen statements by BlogMad stating the contrary. As any of you know who have tried to get adsense re-instated, Google sends out these form letters (they only seem to be sent by a real person because everyone gets the same letter) and makes no effort to understand that you have taken a look at your stats and see no invalid clicks.

Well, Google’s Adwords has similar problems. Adwords is the flip side of Adsense. They have rules for Adwords where certain words are not allowed. A sex columnist who writes for the San Francisco Chronicle gives an interesting overview of what Google deems inappropriate in spite of the protests from companies who use adwords. Apparently words such as dyke and transgender terms (used by the transgender community) are banned by Google for silly reasons. The reason cited in the article is that these terms are “teen porn concepts.” What? Since when? Also, when did Google get to be big brother of the internet? Did I miss something?

The last part of the article really gives the crux of the issue. Adwords doesn’t have a blacklist of words in its policy. This means that the allowable terms are truly subject to the whim of whomever is approving ads that day or whomever your ads get approved by. Companies using adwords also report problems with responses from Google, very similar to the experience I had.

My opinion is that Google is worse than Microsoft. Nearly every computer geek loves to hate Microsoft, but really they should be watching Google as it grows more and more powerful. I see very little stopping Google and the way it does business.

I came across the 100 worst movies list while browsing SFgate. Since a columnist wrote he had not seen any of the movies on the list, I had to check it out to see if I had seen movies on there. I thought the movies might be obscure, but I was very much mistaken.

Here’s my list of watched movies on the worst movie list with their rank:

1. Catwoman (100)–Frankly, I enjoyed it. I liked the cats too.
2. Say It Isn’t So (96)–Yep, kind of a stinker. Are they really brother and sister? Eew!
3. First Daughter (92)–Can we get Mrs. Cruise into better, more adult roles?
4. Man of the House (89)–Truly too stupid to finish. I think I’ve only seen parts.
5. White Noise (85)–Moral: Don’t record EMF and listen to talking spirits.
6. The Skulls (77)–Nothing else was on that day.
7. My Boss’s Daughter (73)–Kutcher makes nice eye candy, even if his antics are annoying.
8. The Order (71)–I liked this one for it’s weirdness.
9. Surviving Christmas (67)–I have no idea why I sat through this one.
10. Gigli (55)–I watched this just to find out if the critics were right. Yep, it was awful.
11. Envy (53)–One long, boring morality play.
12. Yours, Mine and Ours (52)–Remake. I thought this one was funny and cute.
13. Cheaper By the Dozen 2 (50)–Saw the first one. This one was okay.
14. Summer Catch (48)–Not sure why this movie was made. More eye candy.
15. Swept Away (47)–Again, saw to see if the critics were correct. Wasn’t as bad as they said, but wasn’t great either.
16. The Fog (41)–Thought the synopsis sounded good at the time. Not much to it.
17. The Perfect Man (35)–I thought it was stupid. Was it a teen movie or an adult movie?
18. The In Crowd (27)–Rainy day. Nothing else to watch.
19. Down to You (25)–I thought it was cute when I saw it.
20. The Whole Ten Yards (19)–Yep, stunk.
21. Christmas with the Kranks (18)–Poor adaptation of a Grisham story. I’d hang my head if I were him.

Well my vote for all time worst movie didn’t even make the list. I hated “Mr and Mrs Smith.” Bad, bad, bad movie.

None of those movies on the list were seen in the movie theaters. I’m sometimes held captive by HBO or Starz. Some I rented. At least I didn’t pay $10 to see any of them. I own one of them (Catwoman).