Since my two weekends of Landmark, I feel like all I have done is talk on the phone. My ear actually has a red spot that doesn’t go away. I relaxed on Friday until about mid-afternoon. It was a sunny clear day here, so it was nice to just sit outside for a bit. The wind was a little chilly though. The rest of the day I was on the phone yet again. I was avoiding the phone all day yesterday. I have been less watchful for blogging material, so I need to get back into that mode.

I had spent a couple days being persuaded to start the leadership program. So I spent a few days considering if the program was what I wanted to do right now. I’m holding off. I won’t say never, but I have other considerations right now.

I’m looking forward to my son’s spring break since this year he spends it with me.

After the weekend, I finally got my first chance to talk with my sister for more than five minutes. We talked for an hour and a half. It looks like we may actually get along. We have hardly spoken to each other in 20 years. We fought a lot as kids. Once I went to college, I had my own life that I was involved in and just didn’t concern myself with whatever was going on with her. We both admitted that we don’t know anything about each other. I think we both found out a lot in over an hour.

Why do we celebrate people who work more than 40 hours a week? Why is it mentioned that someone works 70 hours a week in an article? I saw this in an article about and executive at eBay. I see this a lot with executives. Why can’t all that work be done in 40 hours or less?

My ideal would be to work about 6 hours a day and get paid the regular salary for 8 hours a day. There is so much else to do besides work. I quit a job where I was bored and unhappy to spend the time with my son. I don’t have a lot of time with him, and it was more important to me to spend his summer vacation with him. I know it meant a lot to him too.

So are these people happy? Most of them–probably not. I’m sure their families aren’t happy. I would much rather have a fulfilling, happy life than all the money that these executives make. although I’m poised to become one myself. I need to find the proper balance for me between work and everything else I wish to do.

This Friday and weekend I attended the Landmark Forum seminar. Mr. O gave me a little push to go. Ultimately, it was my choice to go. I became curious after lengthy conversations. So what did I get out it? A lot. I am finding more and more that I got out of it. The most important things to me were re-connecting with my sister after 20 years of avoiding each other and talking with my son’s father about our son.

There is no way to fully thank the person who introduced me to this class. I had never heard about it before. Now, my mother and sister are both asking me about the seminar. I sincerely hope that they are both able to attend. It made such a huge difference for me that I want to see that happen for everyone I know.

I got my voice back. I notice that I’m talking to people in a very different way. I am actually asking for what I want instead of expecting people to know or guess. I don’t know exactly how that happened. It wasn’t something I “worked” on.

I will be at the advanced course this weekend. More stuff…more long days.

Remember my admission of being a geek? Of being just like the girl in this cartoon I posted? Well, it seems that my offspring is also a geek. I don’t know how it happened. My parents weren’t geeks, so there’s really no explanation for me. My son is excited about “pi” and getting to use it in geometry. He talks quickly and excitedly about using a compass to find the bisector of a line. What’s a mother to do? He’s enjoying chemistry problems that the other students complain about. I told him, “You know, you’re a geek.” He laughed, and said he knows worse. Worse? There’s worse? What happened? Where did I go wrong? How did a create a little me? Poor kid.

I swear geekiness isn’t inheritable. Can’t be. My mother can’t figure out how my sister and I turned out the way we did. She didn’t like school that much. She never got excited about math or science.

Can the geek be removed? There must be a school that can undo the geek. I haven’t found one yet though. It probably wouldn’t help me at all. Years from now I may have to apologize for the apparent “geek gene” that I passed on.

I just hope he doesn’t turn out like those boys in the cartoons. You know…the one who sniffs the girls or begs one to go out with him. Odd goods are just that. Perhaps I won’t have to worry about him getting some girl pregnant. I will just have to wonder what kind of girl will want such a geek.

***

As a response to Mr. Fab’s comment, here are the definitions of geek, dork and nerd.

While I was the university, I met the guy I would later marry. I shouldn’t have, but I did. We weren’t seeing as much of each other when I graduated since he lived in a different city. There were lots of signs that things weren’t right, but I didn’t really see them at the time. I guess I saw the problems, but didn’t see them as really big problems. So my first job out of college was in corporate communications with a really bitchy boss. I was fired from that job. Why? Well the boss hated me, but the reason sent to HR was that I couldn’t perform the job. And why? Well I had developed carpal tunnel in one wrist which made typing all day long and cutting photos for print painful and difficult. I was fired after the second occasion when the photos weren’t cut perfectly straight. I didn’t have the strength to hold those thin photo pages (not photo stock paper) and cut them with an exacto knife. Publishing was so different then. Now straight photo edges wouldn’t be problem. You import the photo into a box with perfectly straight lines every time. Anyway, the job sucked. Pretty miserable experience. After being out of work for a few months, I found myself pregnant. Yep, happens even to smart people who should know better. I didn’t want to tell my mother, and I didn’t until I couldn’t keep it from her. I remember writing a long letter to her before Thanksgiving. I would be going home then, and I was showing. I found another job that fall before Thanksgiving. Pregnancy was not much fun. I was sick a lot. I got up several hours before I needed to be ready for work. It sometimes took two to three hours to get ready. Sometimes I had to start over after getting sick. I went though a lot deciding to keep the baby and what I was going to do after it was born.

A few months before I was due, the father came back into my life and decided that he’d like to get married. I didn’t want to move back home with my mother at the time. I wasn’t sure how I would take care of a baby entirely alone, so I agreed. Biggest mistake of my life. Short version: We got divorced a year later. Well, it takes a year to get divorced, so officially two years later. So a couple of years and $20K later, I was divorced, living with my mother and going back to school to get a degree in chemistry. Oh, the cost of the divorce? Well, I couldn’t deal with all the crap I was constantly bombarded with by my son’s father. Letters every week. Legal bullshit. I had the attorney handle it. Although he probably overcharged. I didn’t get what I wanted anyway. Four long days in court listening to how awful I was. The attorney was overly confident and didn’t really do his work.

So back to school I went. I traveled 100 miles round-trip every day for two years to take undergraduate courses in chemistry.

This picture shows a few buildings. It’s a small campus. I had my classes in the white building on the right. My goal at the time was to get into graduate school and be a professor. I spent the entire drive seeing myself graduate with a doctorate. It’s the only thing that got me through, and most likely made the doctorate a reality. The courses were sometimes a bit difficult, but not too bad. Organic chemistry was not my strongest course. I got to do several semesters of undergraduate research in various projects. I went through graduation with my new degree in chemistry, packed up my things and my son’s things and went 400 miles east to graduate school. I specifically picked the school based on researching professors and my visit there. I began graduate school with my research group already picked out. In fact, I went there in the summer on a special program where I got paid for the months prior to fall classes and worked in that professor’s group. I worked with lasers like in “Real Genius.” I was excited. I had wanted to work with lasers back when I was in mechanical engineering and saw a group doing research there.

Ever considered what time period you would place people you know? As someone who writes, I’ve considered this many times. I like to use people I know as the basis of my characters. While no character is exactly like any single person, there are aspects of those I know well and they may be able to figure out which character is based on them. Today though I’m going to do a little exercise on putting people I know into a time period that I think suits them best.

First up is Mr. O. His hobbies influence my decision heavily. He would be best suited for the wild west. You know…the guy in the westerns who is a good guy, but always just a bit on the wrong side of the law. So I’d put him on the old west, maybe Wyoming. Rancher or small town sheriff. 1870s. But he would have been born earlier, so that he was around 25 at some point in the 1870s. He probably visits the local brothel too much (sounds like Deadwood).
Next is my friend from graduate school. I think he’d make an excellent gangster in the 1920s to 1930s. I don’t know exactly why. When I picture him and think of a time period, I automatically see him in a pin-stripe suit walking the streets of Las Vegas. He has a choice of women, but they are really the same woman. You know the one…the kind that likes the dangerous gangster and the money. The woman who likes to be treated like princess, but often willing to put up with being treated like a tart.
My mother should have been born sometime in the future, perhaps in a big city like New York or San Francisco. I know that she wanted to go to Woodstock (she was married with a newborn at the time), but she has never seemed like the hippy type. Her art is so modern that it belongs in the future–not now. She often paints what sells–I think what sells is crap–so her real talent is never seen. I’d still make her an artist, but put her in the center of the art world.
Me? I would have loved the 1930s and 40s. Perhaps Hollywood. I love the clothes. I doubt that is where others would put me though. I’m a bit too unconventional even for today.

My sister seems very well suited to today. I can’t really see her at any other time. Perhaps I don’t know her interests well enough. I’m not sure she knows. She’s too busy with work and family to have any time for herself.

My son might belong in Germany or France during either world war. He loves history. I think he might find it an interesting experience. Otherwise, I’d have to place him in the present.

I know a cantor who once dressed up as a flapper. It certainly seemed to suit her. I could see her as a flapper. Dancing, singing. Another person for the 1920s. It is certainly a more unconventional side compared to her life today. Or it seems that way.

As I think of all the people I know, I realize that you really have to know someone fairly well to place them somewhere in history. Some are easy. Some are difficult. Know someone who just doesn’t seem to fit in the present? Feel free to leave your stories in the comments.

After 30-some years, you don’t expect your family to surprise you. I’ve often told people about how unemotional and undemonstrative my family is. That means they never say “I love you.” They never hug. So imagine my surprise on Christmas Eve when I was hugged not just by my aunt, but by my grandmother as well. She has never hugged me in my life. They hugged my son too. He was in shock as well. We were astonished further on the day we left when my mother hugged him goodbye and me as well. We discussed that while waiting to get on the plane.

We also talked about the crazy swabbing of every single piece of electronic equipment in my carry-on. And it was extensive. Unbelievable. Our inventory? Two iPods, iPod accessories, headphones in a case, one SP, one DS, and a camera with accessories. It seemed completely nuts. There was also the swabbing of the outside of the bag as well as inside every zippered compartment. My son wondered how any of those items could be used to blow up a plane. I have no clue.

So now what do I tell people? The only reason I’ve ever said anything about my family’s behavior is because it took me years to get used to hugging or touching people I don’t know well. Now it seems more natural…most of the time. No, not all of the time. Sometimes I come across others who are uncomfortable with hugging and touching, so if I “read” that, then I don’t.

I haven’t told anyone about these incidents. I debated for more than a week about posting it here. But since my mind continues to return to the recent past, I decided that it was significant enough to write about. Mostly as an observation. No analysis. Just an unexpected oddity from the family. This may be a memory from last year that I remember for awhile. Completely forgot at the time.

The most exciting thing that happened yesterday was I got locked out of my house. I made my son stop the video games to help clean up the backyard. He didn’t realize that the new door handle is very spring loaded and the spring popped after he closed the door. That was fun. We had to climb over the backyard fence–over six foot tall wood. At least the yard got picked up. Much less dog doo and lemons.

I spent most of the day doing my own thing or watching my son play video games. Once he remembered that he could get online to play that is all he did. I watched him unload an entire clip into some guy. I guess the guy was on his side, but kept shooting him and reviving him. From what I’ve seen, these online players are idiots. I watched one run down a team mate on a motorcycle. The game? Call of Duty 3. My son didn’t even want to go to the movies. Oh well. It’s his vacation, and he doesn’t get to play them often otherwise.

The weather is supposed to be better here today. I hope so because the wind was horrible. Our poor little shallow-rooted trees can’t handle winds above 50 miles per hour. At least this year, I didn’t lose any trees in the backyard. My lights out front managed to stay mostly on the trees.

The cats are still in hiding. The two youngest don’t like strangers. Apparently, there’s a very strange person in the house.

I thought I’d never get home. The weather here has been a bit strange. The plane ride was incredibly bumpy. I thought I might get sick before we landed. I never feel that way. Although on the way to Denver, it was terribly bumpy too. I was glad that I hardly ate breakfast that morning.

But we’re back and unpacked with one broken item. I feel terrible about it because it was a gift. I didn’t realize that it was fragile. I had wrapped clothes around it, but it broke on the side with all the clothes. Weird.