I must be the best actress ever when it comes to my own life. Out of the seminar on sex and intimacy, I have figured out how I act around sex. The role I play is the “good girl.” My weekend program even prooved that further. I said something to a couple of guys about how they must think that I’m a “good girl.” Their response: “But you are!” In talking about this in the group from the seminar, even the one single guy in the group agreed. Nothing could be further from the truth. I told the guys this weekend, “No, if you only knew…” It’s all just some silly morality that I’ve internalized about how to behave. Because I don’t agree with society, think differently and often do differently, I have learned to cover that up so I don’t get judged. Yet, I get judged anyway. Completely silly. I’m waiting for the par tof the seminar where we get some freedom from this pretend stuff.

Well I survived the trek to San Francisco three days straight for my weekend leadership training seminar. I decided to drive each day so I could sleep in my own bed and save some money. My hybrid only used slightly over half a tank of gas. I’m not sure what to tell you about the weekend. I sat next to an interesting guy from Los Angeles for part of the seminar. Sitting next to him helped lighten up my mood. It can be easy to get a bit too serious. Frankly, not long after sitting near him and his flirting, I wanted to jump him. I was good though and didn’t. Today I’m left wondering if I missed an opportunity there.

My cats are happy that I’m home. The two youngest, Max and Zach, turned two on Sunday. They had treats on Friday. Their pictures have been posted previously.

I did notice that when I was talking to a friend this morning that I already sound different. It’s amazing that I noticed. Typically everyone else notices before I do.

Yes, it’s back! However, there will be a three week hiatus because the seminar won’t meet until the end of September. The most fun I think the class had all night was sharing absurdities. But what is absurd to one is completely reasonable or normal to another. I had a heck of a time coming up with an absurdity. I was happy to here though that someone else has a ball-licking cat. He doesn’t lick his own. Actually the other person had a ball-playing cat. So what I got out of last night’s seminar is that if I continue to be the way I have been, my life won’t have much joy. Right now, I’m not in a relationship. After last night’s insightes, I’m not sure I’m cut out for one.

The park fire south of here is making everything hazy and hot. I’m having more trouble than usual getting motivated or even being awake. There’s also a slight burnt smell everywhere you go. The park is just over 30 miles from here. The fire has burned about 19,000 acres as of this morning and is expected to burn more before they get it put out. This is borrowed from the San Jose Mercury News: the fire is expected to reach 30,000 acres, as a comparison San Francisco is 29,888 acres.

The pictures below of the Lick fire came from the San Jose Mercury News website.

I’ve take a bit of break from writing lately. My stomach isn’t better. The popularity continues. I have spent most of my hours on the phone or tlakinng to people in person. I actually took a break from lots of people over the weekend. I only spoke to my mother and neighbors. This weekend is the first weekend of the leadership program. I’m not sure what to think really. I go back and forth with being enthusiastic to wishing I wasn’t in the program. Oh how much more tmie I would have to do other things. Unless I find things to post by Friday, the weekend will be quiet here on the blog. Since I spend so much time on the phone discussing things, I just don’t think of putting those same conversations here. Perhaps I should reconsider…

I hope your Labor Day weekend has been more exciting than mine. I have spent a few hours a day cleaning or catching up on errands. It’s too hot to spend more than a couple of hours in the morning doing these things. I still have some sort of stomach flu. At this point, I’m wondering how much longer it will last. Although on the up side, I may lose several pounds. It’s another hot day ahead. I think I will read. The books I ordered at the end of last week arrived yesterday. Looking ahead to my schedule, I don’t know how much time I will have for reading, unless I don’t sleep.

Also coming up…I’m going to miss the Nebraska vs. USC game on TV. I’m in a seminar all day. I hope they beat USC this time. Why Nebraska plays USC when they aren’t in the Big 12? I don’t know. Any bloggers/readers who are Nebraska fans who can send me game updates on September 15?