I have been so lax about posting lately. I know I didn’t post for several days.  I spent 8 hours on Saturday in the leadership program I signed up for. I can’t go into much detail here because I don’t want to overstep what they want said about their program. I don’t want to have to get approval before I write. However, I think I can safely express my experience.

Saturday was good because I got to see some of the people in the program. I knew a few who were in it, but it was interesting to see who else was there. It was mostly administrative stuff the whole day. Kind of a “welcome to the next 6 1/2 months of your life” thing. Again I wondered what I had gotten myself into. But as I have spent more time volunteering (they refer to it as assisting, which it is…but everyone in the world understands volunteering), I actually like it. I would rather be there than just about anywhere else.

I had the experience of being rather popular lately. I have been asked to help with all kinds of things. I have been asked to coffee, asked to share a hotel room on the weekends the leadership program meets in San Francisco. Always being asked to do something. I have been asked to help on other committees too.

I am rather surprised by all this. Everyone I have talked to thinks I’m crazy to be surprised. I realize why. I actually internalized someone else’s opinion of me and made it my own. I allowed this person to disrespect me, and in the process, I didn’t respect myself. I can hardly believe that after all these years I allowed that to happen again. It is a pattern I thought I broke a long time ago.

On other news, I’m still looking for something to pay the bills. The startup hasn’t quite come through yet. Soon, I think, but not soon enough.