This Game Stinks
04/04/2007
Anyone else out there sick and tired of all the articles about women or directed towards women with the same message “you just don’t add up”? Not a day has gone by in the last month that I haven’t read an article or commentary about how women should be. Oh, and let’s add the other ubiquitous message “it’s all your fault.”
So where aren’t women adding up to expectations? Work, family, bed, as wives/girlfriends, appearance, etc. And men wonder why women are angry. If you internalize these expectations (and even if you don’t they still get to you), you are going to be angry because no one can keep up. The expectations change too. So we have these rules that women should follow to be good, hot, pleasant women (pick your adjective) and then the rules change constantly. It’s no longer enough to enjoy sex, now women have to perform like porn stars and that includes looking like one too (boobs, hairlessness). Or there are the parenting articles that get women constantly concerned that they are failing their children. As if these articles are necessary. I don’t see these articles directed to men. Then the gender gap in the workplace is blamed on women.
It seems to me that it has gotten worse in recent years. I always remember there being expectations, but I can’t remember a time when they seemed so contradictory and constantly changing. So with the constantly changing expectations of society and the constant blame when you don’t measure up, what is a woman to do? Can I just opt out of the game?
Ricardo said,
April 4, 2007 @ 6:24 pm
Wow Liz I feel terrible as I read this. But really if you look throughout history there does seem to waves in which the ideal woman is this giant contradiction and can only exist in fiction. The 50’s saw a huge rise in women becoming clinically depressed but nothing was done about it except prescriptions to tranquillizers. Look at what was the ideal then, much different from now but there are similarities if you look closely. In fact each decade has seen something like this. I guess it’s still happening now. I guess this explains the anger but it’s a shame that it has to be this way. Believe it or not there is a pressure on men to add up but it’s a bit different than what women experience. I’d tell you more but it would be a the size of a blog entry.
I say opt out and just be you. If they don’t like it, screw them.
Liz said,
April 4, 2007 @ 8:19 pm
Ricardo,
Maybe you could write a post. I don’t have a clue what kinds of pressure men experience. Most men I know don’t even talk about it.
Ricardo said,
April 4, 2007 @ 9:13 pm
Bingo Liz, that’s it. Men are conditioned not to talk about it as it’s considered a sign of weakness. We are told to keep it all inside and not be emotionally in touch. The closest post I came to writing about this had to do with physical appearance. It’s a post called Roid Rage and Body Politics and touches on how some men are starting to take steroids for cosmetic reasons. I also brought up female eating disorders as I see parallels between the 2.
Gerald said,
April 6, 2007 @ 1:14 am
Sure you can opt out the game
For a start, don’t read the articles. There is no such thing as society, only the media peddling toxic nonsense and, AND, getting you to pay for the privelege of reading/listening.
There is a better way. Be the person YOU want to be.