Ever noticed how easy misunderstandings arise? I keep seeing this. I say something I think is clear, but then I get questioned as if my interpretation is somehow wrong. I just have to shake my head. Move on. And remember that it doesn’t mean anything. But how easy it is for these misunderstandings to completely blow up. I’m often left bewildered and confused. When you stand back and look at this, it’s like two five-year-old kids going at it. “Yes.” “No.” “You suck.” “I’m not playing anymore.” Pouting. Seething.

I have mentioned my project here before, but I have been rather vague about what I’m doing. The project is beginning to develop a life of its own. I am bringing a program to my synagogue, Shir Hadash in Los Gatos, CA for teens and parents. We have had some teens who have been dealing with stress in their lives through self-mutilation, eating disorders and drugs. While in the past there might have been one or two teens with issues like these, we know have many more to where a program to address these issues is needed. I was astonished find out about these issues going on with our teens. I had not heard anyone talking about this before. I was inspired to take action where there was none. I have worked with teens before and really enjoyed it. My son is at the age where these issues are prominent as well. Talking with a teen can be difficult when as a parent you remember how much they talked to you when they were younger.

With help from URJ (Union for Reform Judaism) Family Division, we are able to bring a curriculum to the Hebrew High students. Training for teachers and staff will be made available to identify issues early and to improve communication. Often these behaviors are hidden and there is a lot of shame that surrounds them. Through this program we will encourage open discussions among teens and parents. We want to provide a support system for teens and their parents so they feel less alone when dealing with these often overwhelming issues. The program will also make the teens skilled in handling stress in ways that don’t hurt.

Our first program is a discussion for parents led by Annie Fox. On her website, she takes questions from teens all over the world as “Ask Terra.” Fox has a masters in education and his written two books:  “The Teen Survival Guide to Dating and Relating” and “Too Stressed to Think?”. Her program will present techniques for dealing with stress and for listening. The program is the evening of May 8.

I did my volunteering Friday morning and worked the rest of the afternoon. I got my peace back. I went with the intention of getting it back, and I did. Others helping out also got it. How nice. No, that’s not sarcasm. I had such a good time that I wished I didn’t have to leave, but I had other commitments. Perhaps I will be there Sunday. I’m not sure yet.

Forget having anyone attack me for any reason. I don’t need it. I’m a master at attacking myself. Lately, I’ve been quite snippy. Why? I’m angry at myself. I allowed something that happened when I was five to affect my entire life. I’m still allowing it. I hate it, and I don’t seem to be able to stop it. Since I’m such a masochist, I then beat myself up over the fact that I can’t seem to stop it. I’m such an expert in a perverse way at making my life miserable. Oh and then suffering over it willfully. Here’s hoping that this is over soon.

Is a letter from a nutty parent better than no letter at all? A friend of mine who isn’t speaking to his parents seemed to think it was nice that I got a letter from my father. Until a few weeks ago, my father didn’t even know where I was, and I liked it that way. After going through some seminars, it was suggested that I contact him to complete things. I did. He’s old. He had a stroke. It’s not like he’s capable of coming out here and showing up. I’d have him arrested if he did. I hadn’t spoken to him since I was 15. This is not a bad thing. It was easier that way. He was angry and took it out on everyone around him.

So a couple of weeks ago, I got a letter. Half of it was about some cat he has and the dogs. Oh, and where he lives–which I knew. The other half is all about this fixation he has about something one of my mother’s now ex-friends told him. He was fixated on it when I spoke to him. This is where the letter gets nutty. He goes on and on about how divorce is against God. Yep. One of those. He was in the Jehovah’s Witnesses, like his mother. He’s a true believer. Perhaps not a true follower though. So this ex-friend told him that my mother left him because he was cheating. Not true. My mother left because she couldn’t take the abuse anymore, and she had dreams of killing him with his own guns. That’s how bad it was. She’s not the type to have this kind of fantasy. So there’s this part in there that if my mother remarries (which has a zero percent chance of happening because the first was so awful) that she’s committing adultery.

He had written a letter to my mother almost a month ago on the same tirade, but with more nutty religiosity. See he thinks that Satan has her. He writes this. This is why I had no interest in contacting him. While forgiveness is easy–it’s hard to be spiteful towards a sick person–contact is not.

Well, they did it. They found a planet that could support life. We won’t be going any time soon since it’s 120 trillion miles away. Do you suppose life there is more intelligent than here? so far there’s only speculation that there’s life in the water. How simple we humans think. A planet with habitable characteristics couldn’t possibly have “people” like us, could it?

One can dream though what it might be like. The SciFi aficionado’s wet dream. Maybe a telescope will find another telescope on the planet. Eyes watching other eyes.

Whose rules do you play by? Yours? Others? How do you figure out others’ rules without asking directly? Doesn’t everyone play according to their own rules?

I began thinking about this a week ago when someone told me that I play my games by my rules (considered good) and I play others’ games by my rules (considered bad). I do know enough about myself to know that if I don’t like the rules, I don’t play.
The intensive thinking came about from a discussion last night about the games we play in life. Everything can be reduced to a game. My biggest concern is how to keep a game going for a long time. Games start out pretty good. Things go well. Everyone is happy. Then stuff happens–could be anything. Arguments. Petty personality issues (often happens at work). Then the game isn’t as much fun so then it dies a slow death. I’ve seen this in just about every area of my life. Doing something new is great for awhile. Then I become disillusioned. Sometimes I quit after that. If I don’t leave, I’ve left anyway because I’m not really there.

Have we turned into a bunch of narcissists? Looking only for a few minutes of fame? The next evolvement of reality television is at kyte.tv. Until this morning, I hadn’t even heard of kyte. Kyte allows you to start your own broadcast network. While I can see occasions for this kind of thing, mostly I expect this to be a little like YouTube. Although the Kyte founders don’t think they are anything like YouTube.

I’ve always wondered if the invention of reality TV is a sign of the end of our civilization.

Well, now this isn’t something I do often, but the opportunity arose and I grabbed it. So it was suggested that we go to the Saddle Rack. She was bringing another friend. With much trepidation, I decided it might be fun to do something a little different. It’s a dance club, but country.

For me, this is a fate worse than death. I left the Midwest and happily got away from all things country. I avoided like the plague (really) when I lived in places where country music was on nearly ever radio channel. Here, there is only one country music channel on the radio (might be two by now).

I don’t even know the dances. Although I did see them swing dancing to country music. Who knew? I was asked if I danced West Coast Swing…I think lost my brain there for a moment because I said no. But I do know. It has been awhile though. I always think of it as just swing, as compared to Lindy Hop. I missed a fun moment there. Silly me. However, I was waiting for my friends to show and watching for them was more important.

The band was good, and they did play some rock music later in the evening. So really it was fun, but it has to be the whitest night club in Silicon Valley. We arrived later in the evening and missed dance lessons. While the line dancing looks easy, it’s not. I know. I’ve tried at least once in my lifetime.

They have a bull. What’s a country night club without the crazy drunks riding the electronic bull? Our friend S rode that darn bull. Pretty well actually. I was in charge of taking pictures. She got pretty wild. The cage brought out a side of her I’ve never seen. Pictures were taken of that as well.

I would probably go again if the chance arose, but it wasn’t so bad being there by myself for the half hour that I waited for my friends. So perhaps if I’m itching to go out and no one is available, you will find me there.

This time I’m posing questions to my readers. You may answer any number or all as you wish. I only ask that you be honest and not hold anything back. These questions relate to how you know me from my blog.

1. What are my strengths?
2. What are my weaknesses?
3. What does everyone know about me?
4. As a blogger, what can people count on me for?