Yesterday I received some news that had me shaking and stunned. Once I collected myself, I made several phone calls. I may have more calls once I get more details. The details won’t be posted here for various reasons. The news? The startup I have been involved in for the past four years finally got venture capital funding. We’ve been hoping for this day for years. However, “oh shit” comes to mind because now the real work begins–at least for me.

I had been wondering what I was going to do for work since nothing had been happening. Now I don’t have to wonder or worry. Funny how things work out. It seems that my life is coming together.

Well this morning I wasn’t sure what I would write about. I’m tired of being sick and even more tired of writing about it. Being sick twice in one month has seriously derailed my novel for NaNoWriMo. I’m just thrilled I started in the first place. I have another idea for a novel already. One that I think is better. My morning ritual of checking out my favorite blogs new posts gave me some inspiration.

Thanks to Mr. Fab for giving me something to write about. Now many of my readers are loyal readers of Mr. Fab’s blog, Pointless Drivel. I know Mr. Fab stops here from time to time. He posted a video that is just hilarious. Everyone must see it. So if you’re not one of his regular readers, but you stop by here, please go check out this post.

Anyone seen the HBO documentary “Thin”? It isn’t easy to watch the entire thing. I talked with a friend who didn’t understand the women’s’ mentality about thinness. But he is a guy. Men also have anorexia and bulimia but in far fewer numbers. The documentary didn’t show men. I understand their mentality. I fully understand the one exercise where a young woman has to draw her body on a large sheet of paper. Now she draws a very masculine looking body, which I wouldn’t, but the body is nearly twice her size. I suspect mine might be too. I recognized in high school that what I saw in the mirror was not an accurate representation of my body. I swear that mirrors add 20 pounds. I prefer to rely on photographs and plate glass windows for more accurate images.

While I never have starved myself or purged, I do see a very distorted image of my body. In reality, I’m quite thin, and I find it easy to maintain. I wonder if all women do to some extent since the ideal now is very thin. While watching the documentary, I was surprised to see that some of the women didn’t seem any thinner than most actresses. Today’s actresses and models are considered the ideal body types. What message are we sending when the ideal body type is 10-20 pounds too thin?

The documentary also reminded me of a conversation I had with my mother about my grandmother. My mother has always had a weight problem. I remember never wanting to be heavy like my mother. I got lucky—I got my father’s thin genes. My mother doesn’t even have to eat much, so her weight problem is due to other factors (not overeating). My grandmother has always been quite thin. She’s short (5’) and a size 8 usually. My mother was always put on a diet by her mother. She remembers summers where she was only allowed about 500 calories a day and got to 125 pounds at 5’10”. Apparently that wasn’t thin enough for her mother. That’s rail thin for someone so tall. Recently, my grandmother’s advice to her daughter (my mother) was to “just throw up.” I guess that is what she does and has done most of her life. So it wasn’t until my grandmother was 85 that we learned that she has been bulimic all her life. She has quite the appetite. I have no idea how she eats as much as she does. I asked if she often went to the bathroom immediately after eating. Yes. Did she spend a long time in there? Yes. While she didn’t do it after every meal, she did it often enough. I can’t believe that after all those years that no one suspected or became concerned. My grandmother talks about it like it is completely normal.

At 87, my grandmother still worries about her weight. She’s never quite thin enough. When her sister was dying of cancer and got terribly thin, my grandmother started losing weight quickly as well. See, grandma was always the thinnest of all the sisters. So as her sister got thinner and thinner, so did my grandmother. After her sister died, grandma needed to add 15 pounds to her small, thin frame.

Technorati: Thin, body image, anorexia, bulimia

Well I did stick around long enough yesterday to dance in the second dance even though I felt terrible. My dancing wasn’t perfect, but it was the best I could do that day. I hope that I didn’t give it to anyone. I’m a little better now. While this is annoying to me, I read something today that really puts things into perspective.

If you get a chance go check out this post. I think that is one of the most poignant posts I’ve read.

Now, I think I will go take care of myself enough to get healthy so I can get back to being productive.

So I’m off to the ho’ike. I’m not better. Yesterday everything was stuffed in my head. Today it flows. Just what I need while dancing. I had a fever and chills yesterday. Fever isn’t gone, but I’m going anyway. Maybe I will perform, maybe I won’t. I don’t have much of voice, which isn’t good for the kahiko where we chant loudly (yell). By the time I get there, we will have four hours before we actually perform. Should be interesting to see how much kleenex I go through. As it turns out, no one I know will be there to see me. Sleep sounds good. I hardly slept all night because I couldn’t breathe. I slept lightly and woke up every 20 minutes or so. If I do dance, I hope I can keep my brain on track. Illness tends to make my mind wander. When my mind wanders, I forget the dance moves.

The bug is worse. It seems I have a sinus infection. That’s what it looks like to me. I’m still wondering why I’m getting sick lately when I never get sick. Since I have the hula show tomorrow, I think I will spend the day sleeping and trying to get over this as much as possible. The cats have been trying to help by sleeping on me all night long.

I spent most of the day yesterday messing with the outdoor lights. I have a strand that keeps blowing fuses. So last night I went to the hardware store (hardly anyone there) to get some extra cords so I don’t have so many light strands hooked up to one electrical outlet. I might get out there to do that today when it warms up more.

So I was crazy enough to get up at 3:30 am to get to an electronics store before they began to hand out tickets. I drove there. Took a good look at the line and parking lot and returned home. There were no parking spaces. The line? Several hundred people. All I wanted is one television. However, since the minimum they might have is 15, with a line like that my chances of getting one are slim to none. I decided that I didn’t need one today, and there will be more sales prior to Christmas. In past years, Black Friday has never been very good for the stores in spite of their sales. I am going back to bed to wake up much later. I seem to have caught another bug. It’s mild, but annoying. Later, I think I will get out the decorations and get the outside lights up.

Technorati: Black Friday

Happy Thanksgiving to all who come by here today. It’s so hard to not use the computer for just one day. I’m looking forward to a quiet day of catching up on all the movies I haven’t had the chance to watch. I’ve been away from home so much that I’ve missed just sitting around watching television. Last night was no different. A friend asked me to go to the Warriors game, so I went. It was close, but they lost. Perhaps I will catch up on some sleep. I was hoping to do some catching up on novel writing–which may happen. I have plans to get up early to go to ONE store. If I get that item, then I’m done shopping for the day. I’m still on the hunt for a PS3, but I think that will have to wait until December since shipments are slow.

While it may seem terrible to be alone for Thanksgiving, I would find it much worse to be visiting my family. Now, not all of them are awful. It’s just that Thanksgiving is always at my aunt’s house. Mrs. Where’s-Your-Boyfriend?-A-Woman-Is-Nothing-Without-a-Man. It’s terribly annoying. I’ve been tempted over the years to harass them by saying “or my girlfriend.” I think it’s funny. My mother doesn’t.

This year I will be missing out on bone-dry turkey. I hate turkey anyway, but my aunt’s is the worst. You can’t even choke it down. There’s not enough water in the house to manage it. Although with all the people who come to her house, alcohol and lots of it is the best choice. The last time I was at her house for Thanksgiving, I was groped by one of her relatives. Seems the guy thought it was appropriate to grab my thigh. In any other setting, the guy would have gotten what was coming to him. However, in this case, I was completely unprepared. The same gross relatives will be at her house this year. Some are retired farmers. Over the years, I have heard more about pigs than I care to. I don’t even eat pork. I certainly don’t want to hear about the trials of pig farming. Her whole side of the family is quite crude. Manners are non-existent. They smell funny. Eau du pig is apparently incredibly difficult to remove.

This year the latest news is that my one cousin, who can’t stay out of prison and away from drugs, will be going back to prison again. While that is enough to talk about, that’s not the whole story. So far she’s had two children by two different fathers who are being raised by her sister. The dirty secret in the family is that the fathers are Mexican. Oh God. Call the police. What can I say? The family has issues. Anyway, this gal has another child, by another Mexican father, and is off to prison again. My mother’s opinion is that is what you get when you tell your kids that they need men or boyfriends. Neither my cousin nor her sister has chosen well. Her sister is on her second marriage…to a second cop. Apparently she goes for police officers without money. Again, call the old-fashioned morality police in. Supposedly in my family according to the women (not my mother), you’re supposed to marry better. Better means rich. Any marriage problems you have are because you didn’t marry “better.” Hmm. Is it any wonder that my mother is divorced and single for nearly two decades? How about her brother? My aunt is his second wife and her two daughters are from a previous marriage. My uncle’s daughter divorced recently after waiting to marry in her 40s. Only my uncle’s son is still married to the same woman. My sister is still married. Not sure how long that might last.

My mother taught me and my sister not to rely on men. It was probably a good lesson considering her experience. I’m just glad she doesn’t hold the same views, but I do get tired of hearing about it.

I remember being put at the “kids’ table” until I got married. I absolutely hated it. I was well past being a kid. It’s torture as a teen or college student having to sit with little kids. After a few years at the adult table, I wanted to go back to the kids’ table. At least there, bad manners were excusable, and I didn’t have to hear about pig farming.

So while I may be cooking for one person, one dog and four cats, I’d rather be doing that than dealing with the weirdness of my family. I would rather not subject others to the family weirdness either. So even if I had a boyfriend worthy of bringing home during the holidays, I’m sure the guy would rather be with his own family—even if they are stranger than mine.

I’ll be seeing the family at Christmas this year. I’ve heard that fewer relatives will be around then. I’m traveling on Christmas Eve, so it’s possible that I will miss the family festivities that night.

Technorati: Thanksgiving, family, holidays

Can a former boyfriend really be happy that you have a new boyfriend? I wrote about the ex who seems to call right when I’m seeing someone else. I told him about Mr. O. He said he was happy for me. But is he really? Is that possible? I was never all that happy to hear about his girlfriends. So maybe this is a case of overthinking, but I still have to wonder. I won’t make myself crazy wondering. It was just on my mind this morning.

I’m looking at what I have going on this week. I’m less busy than last week. I have no family out here, so it looks like I will be spending Thanksgiving with my dog and cats. In past years, I have cooked a meal. I don’t eat turkey, so it’s usually chicken. My pets love the smells, but the cats are picky and don’t really eat baked chicken. Crazy cats. The hula/tahitian dance show is Sunday, which means I will be busy all day with that even though I dance for about 10 minutes total.